We've got skills...

Sage Says:

I have spent two days updating my resumé.  Let’s be clear, it has been over ten years since I last updated the ol' resumé. 

Squirrel:  and, let's be even more clear, most of the two days has been spent getting the now extinct computer up and running, figuring out how to save the file off of that old tank, getting it to the iPad and then deleting half of the junk on there.  Who really cares what 49 jobs we had in high school, right? 

It has been a chore, to say the least. 

And, this is all for a 120 hour contract.  Not that that is a bad thing, but wow, getting up to speed is a challenge. 

It all reminds me of fourteen years ago, when applying for a position, I made a mistake on my resumé.  It was a good one.  A doozy.  I spellchecked, had Shane look it over, set it aside and came back to it, only to check it again before I sent it out.  I was really ready for a change and wanted that job.  I could taste it.  I could see me doing every part of that job.

One of the things I did in my current position was deal with the public.  A lot.  Educational stuff in our community, programs throughout the state, work with organizations in our industry...so I included "public relations" in my skill set.  Only, I didn't put the L in the word public. 

Squirrel:  Who knew a simple L would really change the meaning?

Out went my resumé, toting "PUBIC relations". 

Yes.  PUBIC.  Oh My Goodness. 

And, what’s worse is, I didn't even realize it for months.  I got an interview, and it really felt like the three older gentlemen interviewing me were overly uptight.  Clearly, now, I can see why. 

"Dear God, please don't let her explain what she means by that."

"Can you imagine putting that on your resumé?"

"What kind of a place does she think this is?"

Ironically, it turned out far better that I didn't get that job. 

And, every friend of mine that mentors students has used that story to explain the importance of having someone else look over your resumé and important communications before you send them.  I laugh about it regularly.  Which is to say, when I think about resumés.  Ok, so not that often.  But, it was funny. 

Now, I am updating my resumé and the old public relations days seem a million years ago.  I have had three children since then.  Priorities have shifted.  Things have changed.  Technology has, WOW, changed.  I finally threw away the box full of 3" floppy disks.  I'm sure there was something important in there, but how on earth would I even extract that data today?  I couldn't even remember my graduate school thesis title.  I'm sure one of the floppies had that info...but clearly, I have made it this far without it, so I shall plod on. 

All this brings me back around to todays resumé.  I really think the title, "Superwoman" says it all.   

Squirrel:  Shayla often refers to herself as Superwoman.  As she damn well should.  As should any mother (fathers, too, though I can't see them going for 'Superwoman') who juggles all the responsibilities of children, work, homes, pets, bills, being good in the face of evil...  it is truly the most fitting title. 

Double Squirrel:  And, under Superwoman, I think I will put talents like:  Conflict Resolution/making conflictees wear the same shirt until issues resolved, Employee motivation/chore lists that involve bribery, threats and 'or else' speeches, Prioritizing/turning your underwear inside out is acceptable, Maintains a clean workspace/checks children's ears at least once a month.  Oh, the talent list goes on and on here! 

I have managed to work part-time over the last ten years, so I don't have a blank ten year spot on the resumé, but really, how does one adjust from work, to family, back to work?  Having children has taught me more skills than any previous work experience.   Ultimately, my resumé is a funny little picture of part of my life.  I write down all these skills, when frankly, the really important things somehow get left off the page.  "Loves my people with every part of me"  "Values kindness"  "Laughter really does help" "Willing to sit and hold someone's hand" "Likes work that makes you sweat"  "Giggles loudly" "Hugs for no reason at all" "Tries to find the best in things."  Well, I guess it doesn't have to tell everything, does it?

Shayla says

I hate resumes.

The truth is, unlike Sage, I haven’t worked at least part time all through motherhood.

I’ve worked “here and there” through motherhood.

I’ve been a mom for more than twenty-two years. That’s a lot of time to be here and there with no specific direction.

People don’t like to see “here and there” on a resume. It makes them think you’re flaky or uncommitted.

You know who isn’t flaky and uncommitted? Moms. Deciding to be a mom is the biggest life commitment you’ll ever make.

Another thing I hate about resumes is I can never decide if it’s better to put short term jobs on there or leave them off. I’ve had plenty of short term jobs. (Ironically…I even had a short term job helping voc rehab clients put together of all things their resumes.) Is it more important to show a flowing work history or does it make me look even MORE flaky and uncommitted if I had three different jobs in three years? I don’t know. Resumes mean you have to figure out what the other people are looking for and try to use buzz words to get their attention. Maybe that employer Sage interviewed with was actually looking for ‘pubic’ skills and if that’s the case, it’s probably a good thing she didn’t get the job.

I hate the fact that one sheet of paper is supposed to define me and my hiring potential is based on that one sheet of paper.

Sure I haven’t had to endure the ‘pubic’ humiliation that Sage has in submitting a resume (Yes…I purposefully left off the ‘l’ there for dramatic effect. You’re welcome Sage) but I’m more than one sheet of paper. I’m a whole book.

ADD sidebar: I’ve never had a resume with a typo though I have often resisted the temptation to list “detail orientated” as a skill and misspell it on purpose.

ADD sidebar sidebar: I’m impressed Sage did hers on an iPad because I would definitely have multiple typos using that or autocorrect would come up with a ‘pubic’ moment all on its own.  Autocorrect is fickle bitch that is out to get me.

I feel like when it comes down to it, a resume doesn’t truly capture a person’s personality. I like to joke a lot. It’s come in handy quite often in some intense work situations. I’m not saying ‘pubic relations’ aren’t part of Sage’s personality. I mean that’s her call. But you’re not supposed to make jokes on resumes. It’s considered ‘unprofessional’.

So if my pathetically sparse and spelling error free resume gets me an actual interview, that’s where I have to sell myself because I know on paper, I’m not looking so amazing. And usually, if I can get an interview, I am offered the job.

One time when a panel of supervisors was interviewing me, they said that I would need to submit to a drug test. I pretended like I was annoyed and started to get up and leave just to see their reactions.

Yep. I was offered that job.

Another time, after spending almost an hour in an interview with a CFO of a hospice, she ended it by saying she needed to “interview some other candidates.” I pretended to do the Jedi mind trick by waving my hand and saying “You don’t need to interview any other candidates.”

Yep. I was offered that job too.

Just like Sage said, the resume doesn’t tell you everything you need to know.

ADD sidebar: I must correct Sage on one important point. I actually don’t refer to myself as Superwoman.

I refer to myself as Wonder Woman.

I've even decided to have my grandson call me ‘Wonder Woman’ because how awesome will it be for him to tell his friends “Yeah. This is the shirt that Wonder Woman got me…Wonder Woman will be at my birthday party….I think I’m hanging out with Wonder Woman today…?” 

I know. Some of you are thinking, “What’s the difference? Both are female superheroes.” 

There’s nothing wrong with Superwoman.

It’s just that as a child raised in the late 70’s, early 80s, I feel a nostalgic pull toward Wonder Woman. So Sage, you can list Superwoman on your resume. You’re not stepping on my toes if you do.

ADD Sidebar Sidebar- Now I’m wondering if we should change our blog title to 'Country Superwoman, City Wonder Woman….'